Why do some cats eat underwear? 

How should you deal with cats that spray your visitors, pee on your bed or scream for attention all night long? 

“If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat”. Mark Twain

“Mr Neville? I’m sorry to phone you so early on a Sunday, but it’s my cat... no, it’s my husband really. He says the cat’s got to go. It’s done it once too often and he says it’s either the cat or him... and you’re my last resort.”

So begins another Sunday at 7.30 a.m. Gently, I edge my own usually hyperactive and hyper-vocal, but now thankfully asleep, Siamese cat Scribble and her ex-feral friend, Bullet, to one side and crawl out of bed into my office to grab the other phone.

“Now, Mrs...”
“Fisher.”
“Let’s work through this logically so that I can get a better picture. First, what sort of cat do you have, what sex is it and how old is it?”
“George is a girl. We thought she was a boy but she isn’t. She’s a one- and-a-half -year-old moggy. We’ve one other cat and they seem to get along okay but she just won’t stop doing  it!”
“What is she doing, Mrs Fisher?”
“She pees everywhere. But it’s not  peeing  peeing  because she’s standing up. She also does puddles behind the sofa and my husband says he’s had enough.”
“How long has George been doing this?”
“About three months, ever since next door’s cat came in and had a fight with her in the kitchen. Oh, please say you can help, I couldn’t bear to have her... well, you know, at the vet’s...’

It’s a typical case. A normal, much loved cat that has suffered the trauma of invasion by a local rival right in the safe core of her territory. The incident has long passed but the consequences on poor George’s behaviour continue. It is a relatively common case of nervous urination in a safe place indoors rather than going outside where she is too vulnerable when squatting. Spraying the house is a desperate attempt to keep a hold on those resources she cannot leave – food, love and shelter. The much loved cat has quickly become unloved by one member of the family and relations between the owners are clearly strained. I maybe the last resort. The fate of the cat and perhaps even the marriage may hinge on my successful treatment of the problem.

Firstly I ask Mrs Fisher to talk to her vet to make sure that there are no medical reasons behind George’s behaviour, and to ask him or her to refer the case to me. Then I’m off to town to make the necessary house call at the Fishers’ and take a closer look at the problem. Two hours later and we’ve worked out why George is behaving in the way she is and compiled a programme of treatment involving modifcation of the home environment, controlled exposure to sensitive areas and restructuring of the relationship between owners, especially Mr Fisher, and George. Within a couple of weeks at most the problem should be resolved.

As I was leaving the Fishers’ to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, my client casually remarked, “George has been munching her way through the back of the bedroom chair since she was a kitten. Is there anything you can do about it?”

Not content with being a sprayer and a nervous toileter, George is about to form part of my continuing research into the phenomenon of fabric-eating by cats. Now that is worth a bit more of my Sunday.

On rare quiet days I sometimes wonder how it came about that I should be a ‘pet shrink’. Having passed through the usual early ambitions of footballer and explorer, and then developing my lifelong interest in animals by studying biology at university, I still could never have predicted that I would become a professional consultant in pet behaviour. Nor could I have known that my Sunday mornings would be spent treating spraying, toileting, fabric-eating cats. That it should happen to me is perhaps at least understandable, given my attachment to animals, but that our society should have a place for a consultant in feline behaviour is undoubtedly surprising to many, not least those of my father’s generation. Thirty years ago, a cat was an animal that scarcely warranted feeding, let alone veterinary care or treatment from a cat psychologist.

So times must have changed and our relationship with our cats must have altered, for me to do what I do. This book is about the types of problem that I treat and the people and cats that I meet. Above all this is a book for those who, like me, are incurably fascinated by cats, and is intended to give an insight into the more unusual aspects of their behaviour and their relationship with us.